The “motivation” myth
The only Zen you find on a mountaintop is the Zen you take up with you. – Obvious source.

 People who’ve found an approach that works for them, often promote goal setting and “motivation”. They make the erroneous assumption that if it works for them, it will work for everyone else.

This is of course, not possible, because you’re as unique as your fingerprints and your voice. Which is precisely why medicines can and do, produce unprecedented or bizarre side effects and reactions in one particular patient, even after extensive clinical trials involving tests on hundreds of others. We are physiologically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually unique. There’s genuinely no one else, quite like you.

“Motivation” of you by anyone else, is a myth. The worst purveyors of delusion are those who tell you that you can have whatever you want or be whatever you wish to be -practically without effort. That’s patent nonsense. Example: You’re born with a withered leg. You’re determined to be the top 100-metre sprinter in the Olympics. Unlikely. Put the word “Para” in front of Olympics and you might stand a chance. You will I believe, become or be, what is best for your spiritual evolution in this life. Your path may not be what you want. It will be what you need.

What most purveyors of “motivation” also neglect to tell you, is that you may have to let go of quite a number of habits you presently cherish, in order to change course or get what you want.

How do you “motivate” yourself to make change? Well, remember that nobody except you can motivate you. The idea that someone else can come along and say or do something that “motivates” you, is not only false, it’s naive. Almost every human being operates on the basis of what an American woman educator called, WIFM? Or “What’s In It For Me?” Self-interest is the oldest motivating force in the universe. Very few people will voluntarily come aboard with your idea, proposal or program - unless they’re coerced or under a perceived threat – if they don’t see something in it for them.

Making change is real hard work. Getting motivated to start the change process is even harder - often because we’re trapped in inertia, or are in a comfort zone with our status quo. As Thomas Edison said, Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. He knew this from personal experience. There are no short cuts or quick fixes. Some people do get lucky. Most of us don’t. Rather than consisting of some simple visualisation or mechanistic process of affirmations, change requires huge effort, energy and much tenacity. It will only be achieved through powerful self-motivation.

It’s well known that world champion golfer Gary Player responded to someone commenting on how “lucky” he was to keep winning Masters’ championships: “The harder I practise, the luckier I get!” Which makes the prospect of something worthwhile happening with minimal self-effort, extremely attractive, and therefore an easy sell, to lazy people.

The real achievers – not just those who talk to others on the speaking circuit about becoming achievers – have done the hard work. Making money on the speaking circuit by giving advice is easy. Everyone’s looking for the quick and effortless fix, the add-water-and-stir recipe. The question you should ask of the speaker is, “Apart from telling us how to do this, and thus earning your living, what else of significance have you done or personally achieved?” Some would not be able to answer the question. Because they’re peddling rehashed snake oil, indeed, frequently, someone else’s theory or material.

There’s even one astonishing local example in which the individual transcribed the “motivational” tapes of an international speaker and reproduced them as his original book. Until the real author found out and the publishers were required to withdraw and pulp the book! I’ve heard lecturers at university business schools lecturing on entrepreneurism, when they’ve never, even for one day, run a business on their own. Hey, that’s a bit like having a virtual pregnancy.

No matter how attractive the sales pitch, presentation, workshop, book or broadcast, the inviolable truth remains this: It’s only when you perceive some real relevance, valuable benefit or “take away” in doing something, that you’ll self-motivate into doing it.

Many companies think the annual conference is the place or the opportunity for motivation and change. Which is about as realistic as bringing in a faith healer to facilitate transformation in the company. But then, illusions bathed in alcohol do tend to last a little longer than in the cold light of rationality.

Many corporate conferences are ill-disguised excuses for a booze-up. Management and their human resources departments, ably assisted by PR, confuse socializing and entertainment with “motivation.” I question whether much sustainable benefit ever comes out of these exercises. They’re good tax breaks though, so it’s a cheap way of making staff feel like they’re (albeit temporarily), cared for.

Many organizations think they’re into change programs, when what they really do is impose penalties for not doing something - which is simple coercion. So what they get is compliance, or conformity. Sometimes, malicious compliance at that. Which again, is not change. There’s an apposite quotation reminding us that the only person who reallyenjoys a change, is a baby with a wet nappy! I know of at least one major local corporate in which management berate staff for a lack of creativity and innovation – and then club them on the head with a rulebook when they attempt anything new.

The external motivator remains a myth. The best she or he can do, is give you information, tell or suggest something in an exciting or energetic enough way, for you to perceive sufficient value in the process for you to self-motivate change. Many people wonder why their personal motivation or goal setting doesn’t work. The answer, quite simply, is they don’t want whatever it is badly enough, or take it seriously enough, to workhard enough, to make it happen!

Some years back, I interviewed Tim Noakes - Professor of Sport & Exercise Science at the University of Cape Town, on one of my radio shows on the subject of goal setting. I took the opportunity of asking him why I still battle to get myself to gym. Even though, when I’m actually exercising, I can feel the relaxation and de-stressing benefits that come with a tired body. 

Tim explained that euphoric exercisers get an endorphin rush right up-front of their exercise routine. However, like the good professor himself, I’m a dysphoric exerciser.Which means it takes us 20 minutes or so of working out before we begin feeling good. I know the exercise is beneficial. I feel great once I’m into it and I feel tremendous afterwards. Why then the mental hassle of having to talk myself into getting my tog bag together, my body into my car and headed for the gym?

Tim’s response: “Your effort-reward ratio is not right. You’re not seeing a big enough benefit in relation to the effort of going to gym.” That’s accurate and really interesting. I guess if I were some young hunk whose pectoral muscles were crucial to attracting the love of my life, it might be an incentive to go and fight gravity more regularly! But my lower-key motive of stress management and cardio-vascular fitness, clearly doesn’t ring Big-Ben-like bells in my subconscious. So I had to revisit and reinvent my motivations for going to gym!

The human brain is designed to respond to signals based on a survival-priority basis. It will pay attention to what’s most important at that moment to prevent damage to, or destruction of, itself and the body. You’ll appreciate that there’s a huge flow of neurological traffic at any given moment. So your “motivation” to do something needs to be pretty powerful in order to jump the queue. It needs to move into the arena of a constructive and positive obsession, if it’s to break through the clutter bombarding the brain and in turn, the subconscious. Only when the subconscious is instructed to move a particular need to the front of the queue of essential tasks, will your resources and energies be applied to the accomplishment of whatever it is you want badly enough.

Sri Ramakrishna, a 19^th Century Indian sage, told a story that beautifully illustrates this concept. A young disciple said to his teacher one day, “I earnestly desire the vision of God!” Without saying a word, the teacher grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and plunged his face under water. The student wriggled and fought and writhed, eventually struggling furiously until he was able to get his face above water again.

The teacher asked his gasping student he felt. “I was desperate, as I have never, ever been before, for air. My whole being yearned for it and I felt I would die if I didn’t get it.” “Well,” said the teacher, “When you feel the same way about seeing God, you will have his vision.”

Charisma – do you have it?

Charisma comes from the Greek word “Charis”, which means “spirit”. The belief is that the gods breathe on you and give you this spirit. Charisma is an energy that can have a positive effect or a highly disruptive negative impact. It attracts jealousy, and in extreme cases, loathing, from those who don’t have it. If it’s resident as a spark, it can be fanned into a flame. If it’s not there – well, it’s not there and never is going to be!

I was talking about charisma on radio one night. Saying pretty much what I’ve just written above. A complementary health practitioner of my acquaintance, called me on my mobile phone literally the minute I left the studio, to ask, “Do you think I have charisma?” I allowed the Eastern dictum of “tell the truth in the way that commits least injury” to kick in, and replied with a non-answer, along the lines of “Your patients love you – you must have some charisma.” What went through my mind though, was that if you have to phone someone to ask if you have charisma, the answer is pretty self-evident.

You may, like my god-daughter, be unaware that you have charisma. And like her, be sincerely amazed at the degree of competitiveness, antagonism or hostility your energy-shifting presence causes in some circles. When people are deeply conservative, intellectually or emotionally constrained and restrained, they will frequently, if not always, interpret the impact of your charisma as a negative, threatening, dislocating force.

Good leaders all have charisma. It’s what attracts people to them. “Casting a spell”, “enthralling”, “captivating”, “riveting the attention”, are phrases that are often used to describe a charismatic person. Repelling people is the opposite but not uncommon second effect of charisma.

Charisma isn’t necessarily explicit, loud, vibrant or visible. It may be a quiet, compelling force emanating from someone with very unobtrusive behaviour, speech or mannerisms. I think of a worldwide CEO of an ad agency group, speaking to us on a training program, years ago. His was such a quiet but compelling presence. He spoke softly - sometimes so softly you almost had to strain to hear him. But you absolutely couldn’t – and didn’t – want to ignore him. Not because of his position, or power, but because of hispresence.

Archbishop emeritus Desmond Tutu has it. Nelson Mandela’s birth name reflected in advance that he would have it – Rolihlala in Xhosa, means he who stirs up trouble. In this case of an extremely positive kind! “Brother Leader”, the quixotic and seriously daft Gaddafi, has it. Adolph Hitler had it in evil bucket loads. Clinton had it, Tony Blair hasn’t got it. Maggie Thatcher had it, John Major didn’t. Golda Meir had it, Ariel Sharon doesn’t. It’s something that leaps out of your television set. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, you’ll notice when they have it.

Tim Sikyea, a native Canadian medicine man described the gift of healing being given to someone like this: “When you are given the gift of healing, the Wise Ones put a beetle in your stomach. The beetle feeds on the pain and suffering of other people. The day you stop feeding the beetle with the sufferings of others, it starts to consume you.”

What we often see in charismatic individuals is that they forget the gift is in trust. For the benefit of others. With the force of attraction and leadership comes great responsibility. When people start to use the force for purposes of self-adulation, the beetle starts its slow work. The gift will drive them mad, or it will become a force for evil. You will notice the medium and miss the message.

The counterpoint required to balance charisma, is humility. Some people don’t even know they have it, even when it’s evident to all around them. That’s an inbuilt safety mechanism. If you’re aware that you have it, regard it as a radioactive isotope that has been put in your trust for the benefit of others. Treat it with respect and be conscious of its power – to heal or harm – depending on how you choose to display it.

Charisma isn’t dependent on physical appearance, good looks, height, a great voice or some other outstanding feature. It is its own driving force – independent of other lesser attributes, which often have to function in concert, to have an impact.

Many organizations and corporates pay lip-service to a respect for diversity. But it’s almost a given, that the day someone with charisma walks through the door, the organization mounts an “immune system response”. It sets out to crush or kill the “invading” foreign organism or bacterium, overwhelm it and pull it into line with “normal” cellular function. It takes deeply insightful leaders to manage and benefit from, charismatic employees. Most commonly the charismatic ones give up the fight against mediocrity, and go off and do their own thing.